When I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at the age of 32, worry became a consistent feeling in my life. How could this be happening, and what did it mean for my life now? I have three incredibly active boys, a husband who owns a business, and a job that I love. If I'm being honest, the diagnosis just felt unfair and defeating.
I worried:
What if my scans get worse?
What if my legs stop working?
What if this affects my kids and causes me to not be fully involved in their lives?
What if my husband ends up being my caregiver at a young age?
What if I can't be an active grandma when that time comes?
What about my job? Can I still do it? Do they even want me there anymore?
What if I can't watch my boys’ sports games because it will be too hot for my body?
Will I be able to enjoy a beach vacation ever again?
Will I be able to tolerate staying up late for a concert for a musician I love?
Grieving what I thought my life would be is not the same as worrying about the future. With God, my support system, and a good counselor, I learned to grieve my loss of an expected future while surrendering today's worries.
My job is obedience; God's job is the outcome. Matthew 6 clearly says, "If I care for the birds, will I not care for you too?" So how can I surrender worry while living with a diagnosis that affects my life every day?
What I believe to be true is that it’s not about the absence or elimination of worry but what I choose to do with it. How God chooses to care for me isn't up to me.
Do I want full healing? Of course! But if God doesn't get the most glory by healing me, then I don't want it. It’s praying for full healing while knowing I don't have to worry about the outcome because if God cares for birds, he'll care for me so much more.
He will care for me in every two-hour scan.
He will care for me as my legs feel wobbly.
He will care for me in moments with my children.
He will care for my husband when he is caring for me.
He will care for me when I'm a grandma.
He will care for me in my job.
He will care for me on vacation or at a late concert.
He will care for me as our family makes memories together.
He will care for me. ME!
When we surrender our lives to Jesus, it removes today's worries and replaces them with hope for now and tomorrow. A life with Jesus hasn't taken my worry away, but it's given me a place to release it in that moment, in the next moment, and every moment to come.
What if my scans get worse?
What if my legs stop working?
What if this affects my kids and causes me to not be fully involved in their lives?
What if my husband ends up being my caregiver at a young age?
What if I can't be an active grandma when that time comes?
What about my job? Can I still do it? Do they even want me there anymore?
What if I can't watch my boys’ sports games because it will be too hot for my body?
Will I be able to enjoy a beach vacation ever again?
Will I be able to tolerate staying up late for a concert for a musician I love?
Grieving what I thought my life would be is not the same as worrying about the future. With God, my support system, and a good counselor, I learned to grieve my loss of an expected future while surrendering today's worries.
My job is obedience; God's job is the outcome. Matthew 6 clearly says, "If I care for the birds, will I not care for you too?" So how can I surrender worry while living with a diagnosis that affects my life every day?
What I believe to be true is that it’s not about the absence or elimination of worry but what I choose to do with it. How God chooses to care for me isn't up to me.
Do I want full healing? Of course! But if God doesn't get the most glory by healing me, then I don't want it. It’s praying for full healing while knowing I don't have to worry about the outcome because if God cares for birds, he'll care for me so much more.
He will care for me in every two-hour scan.
He will care for me as my legs feel wobbly.
He will care for me in moments with my children.
He will care for my husband when he is caring for me.
He will care for me when I'm a grandma.
He will care for me in my job.
He will care for me on vacation or at a late concert.
He will care for me as our family makes memories together.
He will care for me. ME!
When we surrender our lives to Jesus, it removes today's worries and replaces them with hope for now and tomorrow. A life with Jesus hasn't taken my worry away, but it's given me a place to release it in that moment, in the next moment, and every moment to come.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
Matthew 6: 25-27 NIV
Matthew 6: 25-27 NIV
What I love most about this scripture is that Jesus used something so tangible and all around us. He's giving us a constant reminder to release our worry. What an incredible kindness! He could have chosen something we don't consistently see, like butterflies. We don't see them every day. But try going one day without seeing a bird! I started paying attention to birds seven years ago, and it's been a constant reminder that I can release my worry. From the robin who visited my home daily to the cardinal at my office during a hard season to the dove who had babies on my porch last week - I've noticed how God has gently reminded me that I get to live without consistent worry.
Nowadays, when I see a bird, I think or say, "Even the birds..." In fact, I do this so often that I hear my boys and husband say it now, too. It's a beautiful reminder that yes, my God, your God, cares for even the birds.
Nowadays, when I see a bird, I think or say, "Even the birds..." In fact, I do this so often that I hear my boys and husband say it now, too. It's a beautiful reminder that yes, my God, your God, cares for even the birds.
By Sarah Davidson