What the Bible Says About Divorce

Divorce is painfully common today. When it happens, it raises hard questions around what scripture teaches.

In Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Moses permits divorce as a concession, given the cultural realities of the day. Women held no rights and depended on husbands for provision and protection. Divorce offered an escape from cruelty. Remarriage was expected so women weren’t left destitute. Still, it remained traumatic. The certificate prevented a man from reclaiming his wife after she remarried. This offered her and her new husband some security.

In Malachi 2:15-16, God says he hates divorce because it overwhelms people, especially women, with anguish. Scripture affirms loyalty in marriage as God’s ideal. Even today, divorce impacts all aspects of life - grief, anxiety, isolation, finances, identity loss, co-parenting conflicts, depression. God understands the pain it inflicts.

By Jesus’ day, views loosened under Rabbi Hillel. “Any cause” divorce allowed men to swap aging wives for younger ones. Rabbi Shammai allowed divorce only in cases of adultery. Many men used sloppy interpretations as a loophole for adultery.

Jesus closed the loopholes in Matthew 5:31-32. Divorce to remarry is adultery, unless the spouse was sexually unfaithful. This was assumed as commonly understood context. Jesus wasn’t addressing abuse, neglect, or abandonment.

In Matthew 19, religious leaders try trapping Jesus on this controversy. Jesus outlines four implications instead:

1. God’s intent for marriage involves life-long, inseparable commitment between husband and wife (Genesis 2:24). This level of secure vulnerability and intimacy depends on spouses keeping vows.
2. Hard hearts drive most divorces - bitterness, anger, and contempt corrode affection. Improving communication and resisting lust would help many marriages.
3. Just causes permit divorce, like adultery or abuse. But reconciliation is preferred. Innocent parties may remarry. 
4. Even messy divorce doesn’t negate God’s desire for intimacy and righteousness.

Throughout, Jesus warns against missing God’s ideal marriage by distorting scripture to excuse easy divorce. Moses only permitted it given stubborn hearts. Jesus cares more about restoring and protecting God’s intent - intimate covenantal marriage.

He notes qualities for this:

• Spouses must keep hearts tender, not bitter, toward one another
• Spouses must remain loyal through challenges rather than bailing

Our culture tempts us to walk away when marriage gets tough. But great reward comes to those who persevere. When we recall God’s mercy in our life, it empowers us to extend grace and fight for relationships. Jesus knows the blessings on the other side of surrendering to God’s way, even amidst pain.

Whatever life stage we're in, Jesus calls us to a higher view of marriage and relationships. For those wounded, he offers healing. For those struggling, help is available, by grace. For all, the invitation is to yield our lives afresh to glorify God - single or married, divorced or widowed. When we anchor ourselves in God’s forgiveness through Christ, we can forgive and pursue godly relationships.